Conflict in My Life-My Boyfriend

My boyfriend (let's call him Park Yoochun a.k.a Yoochunie), he is very lovable + cute guy, he is very funny, he is my best friend and my best enemy, he is younger than me (by month) so he is so childish, sometimes he's so cold, sometimes he's so sweet, and sometimes he's so blur. to sum up; Yoochunie is the best guy that i'll ever fall in love with. :)

we've known each other for 6 years now and had been together (in love) for almost 4 years (it'll soon be the 4th year by this May 2012). and all this time we hurt we love we cried we laugh together, this is the first time i feel really hurt and neglected by him. maybe it's because when at school we always stick to each other. but when the school period has ended, we become so far away.

recently (after made it to the second semester in university), i felt so lonely, so in despair, so in need of someone to make my heart bloom again. looking at other girls' boyfriends call them everyday to ask "how your day dear?" or "have you eaten?" or even "do you know how much i love you?" (kyaaaa~), all that make me so jealous! why is it not Yoochunie be like that? i want to know how much he love me too!

sometimes when i pressured him about love, he'll replied "i love you enough so you don't have to worry" or "i love you lahh, don't you know that?" or "why is it you want to know??" (hmm...) of course i want to know! i don't have super power to read your heart! you have to tell me whether you love me or not; whether you miss me or not. that's the only way i'll know!

it's not that i don't trust/believe in you, it's because i want to hear it straight from your sexy lips! DO YOU REALLY LOVE ME?!

when we fought, you become so cruel so sometimes i thought you don't love me because of the way you treat me. i remember so vividly your cruel word that made me cry "why do you care?! you don't love me right so let me be! i'm nobody to you or anyone in this world! if i'm dead that's better for you right?!". honey, do you know how much i cried when you said that to me with your cold tone? :( if your dead, then my world is nothing without you.

dear yoochunie, do you remember at some point that you have a family problem, you almost kill yourself? (luckily i was there to stop him! fuhh~) when you cried, you also let your temper get the best of you. dear, your tears is like a rare pearl. you cry, i cry too. even though i said i love your crying expression, but deep down in my heart i don't want to see you cry. HONEST.

seen we have grown further apart, you rarely call me or text me. i became lonely. i miss our lil fight at the night, i miss hearing your husky voice, i miss seeing you goofing around, i miss the way you look straight in my eyes, i miss the every inch about you!

because of that, you've no longer become sweet with me. you so cold and blur whenever i talk to you. have that feeling become bitter after this long period? :(

your heart is mine.

Dear my Yoochunie, please be the old you; the one that love me truly. but if you can return to your old self, i still love you. even if you broke my heart a billion time in our lifetime. :)