Worried About My State of Mind

Lately, my brain isn't functioning well. I keep forgetting things and mix up words and even getting mood swings. This totally affect my presentation on study because my left brain doesn't do well in Calculus class. I'm so worried it might worsen everyday. I thought maybe it has things to do with not getting a healthy life style. As you can see, majoring in computer science doesn't really involving much movement. All you do is just sit in front of your laptop and do the magic.

Not that I wanna brag or something. Majoring in science computer is a lot of fun, getting a high prescriptive about modern technologies. But if you take science computer just because you think it is easy and just want to make video game, you're dead. It's not easy.

Oh well, nothing to lose, just my mind of course but that doesn't really concern me that much. I keep forgetting stuff, sooner or later I'm bound to forget this entry too. Hmm, seriously, I need help.

What was I talking again?

Fuck. Ok, here's some osiria rose.

Orange Moon Boy

"If a girl really love someone, they'll never forget him even if that person is no longer with them right now."

 Surprisingly, this quote really taken its affect on me. It's because it is true. I won't deny it, I still misses him.

FlashBack~


One evening. That particular evening, you asked me out just to tutor me. Well I accept it because at that time, it didn't seem wrong just to hangout.

It was getting to late and we decided to stop and continue next time. I've finished packing my stuff and about to head my way but you offer to accompany me. I thought it was so nice of you (considering no one have ever done that for me), so I let you walked with me.

On the way, you started to talk nonsense. I thought you just want to be polite or friendly but I never figure you're going to sneak into my heart. You say the most flattering thing a guy should said to a girl. The more we talked, the more I find you intriguing, and surprisingly I slipped something out of my lips.

"You know, you're a nice guy. Every girl would be lucky to have you."
"Why, do you want to be my girl?"
"W-what! I was just--"
"Haha, gotcha. Why are you stuttering? It's just a question, or do you really want to be my girl..."
"Ah, hey look! An orange moon! >.<"
"Nonsense, the moon is not orange. So answer me."
"No seriously! Look!"

He look up in the sky and saw the moon. The moon was orange, like never before.

"You're right, the moon is orange."
"It's so beautiful..."
"Just like you..."

And then the time just froze off. We were just standing there facing each other without uttering a single word. My cheeks are burning like crazy because of his word. But I decided to end it quickly and just say goodbye.

End of FlashBack~

 Whenever the moon turns orange, I'll always remember that moment. The moon always look so pretty just like at that time. Remembering it hurts me. Because it made me misses you more. I'm wondering and keep asking myself do you remember me just like I do? Do you misses me like I do? Do you watch the moon that I've adored? Even though times have pass, I've still not forgotten you. But...know this, soon or likely to be I'll forget you. It makes me even sadder when the time comes I will not remember you!

Girls Have Ego Too

I hate it when I have to admit I'm wrong but actually I'm right. If you think only boys can have egos than you're dead wrong. I have egos to. The worst thing is when you act like it is tough for you but you don't realize it's more tougher on me. You just don't get it until I'll spell it one by one for you.

Today is just the same, why on earth do I have to apologize on something that I didn't do? To comfort you? For you to feel better? That's just not me. 

BUT, because of I.L.Y, I have to admit I'm wrong even though it's suffocating me to hurt my own pride. I've sent a text to you to say sorry. Just do your best in the trial-exam and everything is gonna be fine. I hope you'll stop sulking. I'm sorry for the inconvenience we had yesterday.

Best of luck from,

your number 1 stupid lover.